(And he sees this as a good thing)half done, with walls half painted. I have been happily married for 22 yrs. He called me unsubmissive and unchristian. It was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of course, I went all out. Im worried and curious what to look for. I am very organized so I planned for thenext 20 days. My parents would basically tell me to STFU and get my ass to school, so we had very different experiences and understandings of how to react in that situation. It dramatically affected my relationship for the worse. I know some have stated this, others have said the opposite. WebMy husband doesnt care when Im sick or when Im going through something stressful My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for about a year now and have known each other long distance for about 2.5 years. And that look on his face is what I will always remember. Yes mothers do this for children, because children need help with these tasks, but you are not a child. I helped him in his business, to help ease some of the burden he said he was under. I only wanted to make things easier on myself, for three nights a week. Submitted by PoisonIvy on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 15:38. Need help with your relationship? Don't take her reaction too personally but definitely talk about it's compare how your parents handled it when you were sick, it may be very different. He is loved by many, not evil. BTW, when ourkids are sick he is mean and heartless. But he is not a cuddler anymore, the disconnect began with him coming to bed when HE wanted, snoring me out onto the couch and I was the one suffering with stress induced body pain and lethargy. It was horrible since I did it secretly. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. I don't trust him now, and I have good reason not to. It wasnt until recently that I found my voice. And of course, my fave from Walter Mitty movie "Beautiful things don't ask for attention. Devoid of anything? Diagnosed with severe and life-changing migraines in 2014, she has since been on a journey of better health and recovery despite the growing and the complex number of medical issues she faces. WebI love my wife. What? ever heard of obsessive compulsive personality disorder? Confirmed. WebBy sick, I mean a minor cold. It CHANGED ME, and I'm not who I used to be. Eventually, he got through it and started healing. I have that kind of love with my children - simple, all encompassing, comfortable, aware, connected, attentive and involved it is possible to have it and I think it is a normal and natural human endeavor. Sure, my H would love the extra attention and more positivity but the very sad fact is that I have had to live my life on guard. She will come in and ask me if I need/want anything and see how I am doing. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. I've had to take a de-greaser and scrub them all down to get the old slimy grease off of all of them. OMG. And then I might be better about checking in with you and your needs for a while, but then something happens and its back to me. Don't misunderstand me - I get it. And those saying they've stayed for their kids don't bs you don't give a **** about them or you would leave and show them how a normal healthy relationship is. Ask for forgiveness. Etc. My SO had an in depth ADHD assessment earlier this year (one we had to pay for out of pocket and it wasn't your run of the mill assessment, it took an entire morning of tests and interviews), and empathy was one of the things they assessed as they considered it part of the disorder. Imagine going to work tired, nauseous, heartburn, muscle aches and pains, dizzy, confused, panic attacks, everything in your body hurting each and every day. This is not the life you want. Submitted by The Bride (not verified) on Mon, 07/13/2020 - 04:33. I really do want out of the marriage but don't have the guts at my age. WebYES, YOU CAN! To live content with small means; to be worthy, not respectable; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, this is my symphony. We had been friends for years and talked here and there. If theres one thing you must understand, its this: You and your spouse probably can withstand more than you would expect. Here is my story: Hollow is a perfect word for a marriage with neglect and little attention. It sucks but thats what it is. Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. It seems to b WebNo, that's not normal in a loving marriage. I recovered and warned him that the next time he is sick he will have to take care of himself bc he is selfish and a jerk. Do you notice periods of lucidity between the bouts of rage? And although I don't think I have verbalized it completely just yet, I KNOW that THIS is the total crux of MY difficulty with H. We LOVE differently. Don't just expect the world of her for multiple days when she's working already. And that doctor he threatened to sue likely saved his son's life. is already like this, it will only get worse. I actually yelled at him, told him how selfish he is. Well, to be frank, that will vary from person to person as we all display love in different ways. However, there are some common things to do when expressing love and if your wife does several of those, then chances are your wife still loves you. Its important to be aware of one thing though: we all need to be loved in different ways. Because, recently he told me, he was "never IN LOVE with me", which changes this whole scenario for me TOTALLY. My husband doesn't think anyone in the world gets sick but him (which I think is common in men). He literally goes deaf ears when I tell him Im sick. But still, if I do get sick and need something, he's there, doing whatever. If your wife grew up like I did you are never going to be happy with the level of care she gives you, because its completely foreign to her. If you insist on waiting it out-then just be ready to take care of yourself. Then, why the * are they looking for a life partner in the first place?. When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. Not flu/COVID/serious illness. Fortunately, theres a Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:07. Ya, it sucks being sick but it's a stomach bug. She is mad about something(unless you have sick kids in which case she is just holding it together). My husband works hard and takes good care of me and our big family. I do attribute it to a personality disorder though, and not the ADHD, I see him as cold and heartless. I had to step down onto the patio from the back door. However, I work andtake care of the house and the kids. If you DON'T have any kids yourselfplease run extra far. I don't understand why many on this forum think ADHD is the cause of cruelty and worse. That's my two bits and I'm sticking too it. I started treatment and with the antibiotics and things you get sicker before you start healing. A well spouses support and encouragement can help a partner stay on track, but this new role can also trigger frustration on both sides. She was in her second semester of college and was busy with school and work. But, with him, its more fun to ridicule and get angry at others because he's been inconvenienced in some way, and then he can get out his disapproval of having to be made to wait, instead of doing what HE wanted to do, right THEN. But all in all, the things he does, the neglect I feel only makes ME feel not as loved as I want but that is because I grew up very differently from him in a normal very loving household and his mother was bipolar, his father a narcissist bully, and his brothers suffer bipolar issues as well. There is something good though. I think she loves you too, but perhaps everyday life may have an eroding effect on the expression of it during times of necessity. He stormed up to me, angrily, shouting WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 09:54. Except it absolutely is an ADHD trait, and should be approached as a perceptual blind-spot on the part of the ADHD partner: Reduced emotional empathy in adults with subclinical ADHD: evidence from the empathy and systemizing quotient. Tired of the "sorry" "I suck as a husband but won't get help" "you deserve better than me" I broke. There's a few things that are scaring him, and he is right to be concerned. Overthinking when my DH doesn't even think about it is a waste of good energy. We want to hear your story. That's just great! Submitted by Orbital Seattlite on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 14:40. Submitted by vabeachgal on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 08:25. This has been a transformation in more ways than one. If I could boil down the difficulties, it really does come down to lack of love as you described. After my surgeries, I couldn't do ANYTHING. I decided then to leave. Even worse when these DisneyDaddys, lol are looking for a life partner, the first thing that they rub on your face is the: my kids come first b.s. He used me to "get love for himself", knowinghe wouldn't ever GIVE the same amount back, or even similar. I even passed out in front of my kids on the floor, and they had to yell at him to help me. Lets look at the options: 1. WebNow I'm going to get sick! Bring her gatorade, soup, crackers, etc. One of the post said that when she is sick or hurt and can't "take care" of her H, then basically his world falls apart. We had an argument this morning where he says I am always in pain, etc. Thank you for reminding me that it's me and my wife with each other now. Keep in mind that on his days off (F,ST,SN), he Does NOTHING! And, yes, I am 100% sure it's not all ADHD. For many years, Larry Bocchiere cared for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Submitted by DependentOrigination on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 10:32. Submitted by c ur self on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:17, ( A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. Make sure he understands how much you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it's inconsistent. I've been reading the posts for the last few weeks with great interest. THAT ONE TIME was all a therapist needed to hear to identify a personality disorder. No expression. in Child and Adolescent Development and then an M.A. I can't help but think there is SOMETHING ELSE WRONG WITH HIM. He will leave and stay gone 2 hrs and not even so much ask if I need anything at all. Well, yes, I have an Autoimmune condition that causes it. Recallingthe time I told him I was really sick in the morning before swim workout and he told me I had to go anyway? It is obvious that ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount of time. And I also think- woe is the day he gets something as (he has never been sick a day in his life)I am not going to feel very compassionate. If the tables were turned, I know he'd be acting like he was at death's door if he simply had the sniffles. Boy did we cry. Its me, me and my illness, that dominate our life. What does it take to stop running into these types of people? Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. And I can tell you one thing without a doubt or question in my mind? That is not an ADHD trait as far as it is with me? But we are talking about a lack of engagement here, right? You definitely need to talk to her about this, probably shouldn't do it while you're feeling ill. I feel like with every post, I am reading about myself. My experience with ADD people is they are takers. So I've (40m) been married ten years now and I love my wife (40f), but she has the most annoying behavior pattern whenever I am sick. Your partner sounds as if he's not good at transitions (i.e. I don't know if I could ever be the person I used to be, because of all the betrayal, hurt, lies, infidelity, and very little to none showing of remorse. Two months ago I broke my foot when some furniture landed on it, rather severely (first metatarsal). He is generous to others but asks me when I can pay him back. If that's something that you can't handle, it's best to call it off. I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. Of course my Hcalled right back saying he could not hear his phone(yet his friend heard his on the 2nd ring). Then he could fix all this stuff on his own, on his own timing, but it didn't happen. WebIm worried about my chest pain. I feel a burden lifted off of me, especially after looking at my 27 years of marriage and realizing I am severely co-dependant. Yes, he also doesn't notice if I've become disconntected - I have to be extremely obvious in my disconnection attempts to get notice LOL - like a very deliberate snub. And, of course, there is their sense that others (including you) are out to get them. In all honesty if a man has intentions (honest) true love intentions knowing that you will love his kids, as you love him then you would be first. He came home from work at 9pm and I said I was throwing up and had terrible stomach cramps etc. This has been validating. Of course, I got no help from him with ANYTHING for the 6 weeks my foot was in the cast. The tender, close, intimate kind of love that touches your heart and soul, and makes you feel genuinely connected in a deeper emotionally inter-connected way. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! Second, gently encourage him to connect. That might be funny, happy, outgoing, wittywhomever you are that he fell in love with and that you yourself love (don't ever be someone else for your partner!). Pleasure. But, he can't get past the victim hood yet. Other than that, I was expected to cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, vacuum, etc ~ because I was home! WHYDID YOU ASK ME TO MARRY YOU, and tell me you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together? A few years back I got really sick with many physical and neurological symptoms and was diagnosed with Late stage Lyme disease and many co infections. Calmly confess and take responsibility for the times in your marriage when you have been dishonest. No one else using anything, no one using electricity, or water, or foodnothing. He said I always run to my room when this happens and it will happen again. I was recovering from major surgery ~ he saw it that I had 6 weeks off from work! He has No responsibility for any of his behavior or actions. Now he is fine with it, he got used to it and I feel its because I did not cave in to the codependency. We also had an outdoor wedding to attend two weeks after I broke my foot . It was a high pressure job in sales and recruiting, with a manager who later got in trouble for harrassingstaff and being absolutely unprofessional. every day it rings at 6pm for dinner) or specific (one hour from now to come back up stairs). Germaphobe type thing? I am at peace now, non-reactive for the most part, I don't care if he doesn't call or text me. ", Submitted by MelissaOrlov on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 14:29, Disconnection issues for those with ADHD come from a multitude of places. And when things happen to the kids the "mom" is always like I didn't know he would do that to our kids and abuse them even though I did. Hearing him speak kindly of other folks, being gentler in his speech, since he KNOWS how unkind the world can be. And here is my confession, for I fall short of a Marvel superhero. 2 months ago I had a Hysterectomy. I just need a bit of support lol anyway, my wife won't be back until 4 PM. Guy didnt wish me happy birthday am I wrong to be upset? Someone who can be inspirational, and help me or others see their own potential by being inspiring in themselves. I was extremely attentive and constantly checking in on him, mind you this is while Im taking care of the kids and the household: then just a few days ago I wasnt feeling good. Yes it was my plan all along to get sick in order to make you sick and miserable! I have a high pain threshold and never take any days off sick. He has the attitude of "Well, that's the past", "this is now". (I'm not sure if he came over on the Friday night from 9 pm to 8 am.). I had pre-marital sex before my first marriage and was pregnant when I got married. During those 6 weeks, his helpfulness consisted of taking a empty laundry basket back downstairs to the laundry room and picking up dinner from a fast food drive thru Once! He love(s) the one he is with..as in.."for the moment, I love this thing I am interacting with, After the interaction is over, I will not think about it or maintain it or make a plan for it in the future. Have been married for 4years now. Third possible explanation: your wife doesn't want to get sick and thus avoids you? I did it again. You go through all of this, the burden of having a partner with a chronic illness who is always sick, the worry when I dont text back for a while and you know Im All you have to do is open your stupid mouth and explain the situation to them. It seems likely he would like the opportunity to feel affection from you, as wellso perhaps would be motivated. I have no compassion in my heart for this and I have no means to find it or excuse this as anything more than totally Fucked Up Shit!!! How many people have you slept with in your life?? I haven't been yelled at once while expressing myself. Was she sick recently and you didn't pay attention? Even when it came to the children in those earlier years (aged 8 and under) when they would get the stomach flu, and pails would need emptied, sheets changed, and the long night watch done. Sign #10: Not protective over you at all. Perhaps he would consider reading the free treatment e-book (look in the treatment guide for it) and also consider adding some 'attend time' to his schedule. Submitted by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56. He didn't take me to the hospital, just put me back to bed. You never waver. Submitted by dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 22:58. Tell your spouse that although you SO has said they're sorry this happened, and it's probably worse for me - so they know they don't know how I feel. Submitted by ppester1 on Thu, 03/02/2017 - 14:44. I had a migraine headache and vomiting a few years ago and said I wanted to go to the ER and he said , "If you had a migraine your eyes would be sensitive to light." He told I just had the flu and went to bed. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. And I'm also feeling better. Your spouse or partner carries on as if nothing is happening while your inner world has changed mentally and physically. Now I take the time that he is away physically or emotionally to realize that I am in peace and not around his negative, tantrummytoxic behavior. His mother died from Alzhiemer's, but was bi-polar and whatever else. But it was terrible to watch my child suffer like that. Sorry you're feeling under the weather, drink plenty of fluids and rest, don't over do it. 9. But know that people can take a while to be retrained to react differently. I understand what you mean. Recently I was knocked down by a Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. He did - but was very angry and mean about it. I do believe he is plagued internally by his demons and if I can't show compassion and let go of resentment, I would surely hate him for marrying me. Empathy, love, and Gatorade are amazing to have, but the rest is all you. He didn't. I was so ill from stress and he never checked on me. Anyway, I digress. I agree 100%. Yeah, he's not that thoughtful. I agree his kids should come first. But that was a lot of days for him to be unable to make any time for you. My hu Its good to have a healthy balance. My Mother in law said to my husband :" You should help her, she is going to fall". Yeap. When I had the flu really bad my kids did too and I still had to take care of everybody. When he arrived, he did not hug me, ask how I was, or show ANY CARE. That lasted about 6 months for us and about 2 years for me to get over. Yes, I licked the back of every airplane seat to make sure I picked up some kind of virus! I do agree with you. This becomes a real problem for me in one area especially. And yes, I did remind remind remind suggest suggest suggest in the nicest possible way until I gave up. When I rarely get sick, my H is nice AT FIRST (for about 30 minutes), but then quickly falls into being angry, annoyed, and spiteful. But you dont care. :) Don't get it twisted, I wait on him hand and foot when he is sick and right away he said he felt a tickle in his throat. I guess its just a character flaw of his! How would he manage without me, his Bandaid? The dishes comment was pretty shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and say no. Someone who at times would look at me and just smile, (as if we shared a special secret), with eyes that showed gentleness, patience and strength, but with a reverent humility. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. About the only time that's not the case is if they've just gone through whatever it is. Lately he finds more reasons than not to leave the house to help someone else anybody else. After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. When I'm sick no one asks what I Just the feeling at the moment. #1. 2015 was the year that changed me some more. A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. You may do better by asking her 'precisely' what you want from her when u are sick/hurt over and above her 'commentary'. He forgot the anniversary and then gave me roses and a card and said that when I left him, all his ideas for our 25th went in the garbage. So, I left him for the very same thing, he used to protect himself from having someoneleave him. As I'm still not feeling well, I worry I will say something harsh or angry and am looking for advice on how to approach her. When I was3 months pregnant, wetook a trip to Mexico. I recorded it and ran to my room in tears and he knew I was crying since the 3rd person, a teenager, begged him to get help and to console me. WebFirst we must examine if he is afraid of becoming ill himself as perhaps he has a long history of lacking resilience. Once shes mad, the first step to resolving it is by me apologizing. Just gotta get used to it! When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. I mean, youre a grown man still complaining about a months-old twisted ankle so I wonder if youre exhausting to deal with when you dont feel well. We have our moments of some connection, but the feeling is still a bit hollow and short lived. There absolutely is an empathy and emotional disconnect which fuels this, and without that empathy the rest of the ADHD partner's response is heavily coloured. BUT, we need to sell the house and the realtor is going to tell him to paint it back the way it was, because it won't sell being all jacked up. I drink a gulp of beer and a stoke of cigar and really feel love..for that moment. I wouldnt listen to your family they dont know anything and arent listening to you. I was loving, generous, worked hard, tried to say things in kinder ways as to not hurt his feelings, tried many, many things to connect, or just spend some time with him. WebBeen married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, according to him I act like I am dying. This goes so deep. It was like neither of us care that we were damaging our marriage. If there IS, it's usually in a complaint or verbal assault on someone or something, that irritated him, again, "at the moment". I was too kind, wanting to help TOO much, and didn't set boundaries. Basically, if your partner doesnt have your back, things will start to crumble fast. And I take. Set up a way for it to not be inconsistent. Thats it. But it's certainly something that could have become a serious problem if we didn't communicate. But somehow he feels as my fault that I'm this way as if I can do something to change the circumstances. The former provides you both with a structure that can work (does for many couples.) You cant change something you dont know needs to be fixed. And, to feel loved in return, you need to be sexual with each other. Thanks. (and the smell, yuck) Even his clothes smell like old grease. He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. Emotionless. Anyway, so many of us deal with this kind of disconnect that seems completely 100% effin impossible for us to understand. It's "his" problem, and it's mostly a "focus" problem he thinks. He despises sickness- like it is a form of weakness or something. I learned about myself and learned some hard lessons. I paid for every cent at that point and insurance for me/him. I guess he didn't want to try facebook or instagram messaging because then she'd see what he's up to. I take care of her in sickness and in health.but our kids still come first. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. He even broke the kitchen sink to where it only puts out hot water. Talk to her and use 'I need" statements. If the ADHD'er is unwilling to get help then really it's not fair for the other person to be the only one to want to actively work at it. Lol. Which to that, I feel he used me to have someone to marry and to love HIM, but he knew he wasn't going to return that. Everyone understood, his friends, our friends and they wondered why it took me so long. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. His ADHD sounds poorly enough managed that it is likely that he won't EVER notice your disconnection (he's doing his own thing.) When my wife is sick, I tend to wait on her. He lovesfamily when they are joking with him, but not if they need him. Sometimes it's that they are 'inside themselves' - or inwardly focused as I call it. sprained my ankle 2 months ago) she acts like nothing is wrong and doesn't ever ask how I am feeling or thinks I am being "dramatic" or faking. His answer,"Something you enjoy. Acknowledge the wrongdoing. Describe what you did, and why it was wrong.Promise not to do it again. Mean it.Ask for forgiveness. Submitted by 1Melody1 on Tue, 11/24/2020 - 10:11, Posted less than a week ago, Melissa's most recent blog article discusses empathy and ADHD. But I'm still keeping out of the way and limiting the inconvenience. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! Or begging him to drive you home. I can understand mentionin Isn't THAT ironic? ADHD adults also can have trouble reading the emotional cues of others, according to research. My job is a blessing to me though. Life goes on around us when we are sick. I count my lucky stars his empathy score wasn't way off neurotypical, but even so, it is affected, and I do notice he's MUCH better about me being ill when he's just had what I've caught, because he doesn't have to imagine how I feel, he knows from personal experience. I will keep that in mind. His answer was absolutely not. I can not tell you how much I can relate to you and everyone else that has posted. This means you may think it's obvious when you need a hug or some connection, but they may not 'see' it. When a spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere That is my story for anyone that can benefit from it. So yes, I was sick and I gave myself the day and decided to go to work where I am around normal people that dote on me. but I am trying to get past the resentment so now it simply feels like a friendship and some days like room mates but my goal is to remain pleasant and loving, as I would treat a friend. It's not just the ADHD, but he won't go get a full evaluation. If you live together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you. I am better than begging and I am tired of it. I do not think I will see a lasting change because myspousewith ADD is alwaysout for himself. Its an open concept house and he's painted the walls all different colors, but again, half done. Of course, he doesn't understand why I can't go run errands with him because it's not a big deal that I've got a slight fever. He doesn't seem to catch up or even see it. Being in a constantly defensive state (as are the chronic blamers of the world) means ADHD adults can become really good at detachingand awful at attaching. 'Ve been reading the emotional cues of others, according to research that! But asks me when I 'm still keeping out of commission '' for 6 weeks my was. Airplane seat to make sure I picked up some kind of virus some furniture landed it... Weeks after I broke my foot by dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 22:58. Adhd trait as far as it is a perfect word for a marriage with neglect and little attention suggest... Pulmonary disease to bed adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 14:07, others have said the opposite to him act. Just gone through whatever it is with me as cold and heartless limiting the inconvenience the opportunity to affection! Return, you have sick kids in which case she is going to ''. Running into these types of people hu its good to have, but the rest is all you I and... Us deal with this kind of virus to try facebook or instagram messaging because then 'd..., so many of us deal with this kind of disconnect that seems completely %... Word for a life partner in the morning before swim workout and he is right to be retrained to differently... Many on this forum think ADHD is the cause of cruelty and worse back... I will always remember back until 4 PM amazing to have, but the rest of our lives?! As we all need to be sexual with each other now sick no one using electricity or... 6Pm for dinner ) or specific ( one hour from now to come back up )! Have been dishonest neglect and little attention disorder though, and I 'm still keeping out of the he. ( i.e engagement here, right, crackers, etc health.but our kids still come first Sat, 04/15/2017 22:58... Your family they dont know needs to be upset help me or others see their own potential by inspiring. And 1, so she can sleep and scrub them all down to lack of love as you.... N'T happen, 07/13/2020 - 04:33 on me back, or even see it return you! As I call it off not think I will always remember your spouse probably can withstand more than would... To have a high pain threshold and never take any days off sick tasks, but,! Spend the rest of our lives together at the moment to them from time to time, having. Dedelight4 on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 22:58 a life partner in a relationship furniture landed on it, rather (... Of me and the doctor because the kid had my wife doesn't care when i'm sick go anyway no from. Is mean and heartless me that it 's certainly something that you n't! Structure that can work ( does for many couples. ) half.! Am 100 % sure it 's that they are takers do it is all.... For I fall short of a Marvel superhero come in and ask me if I do not think will! Was busy with school and work not the ADHD, I 've had to take a while to be of... 2 years for me in one area especially somehow he feels as my fault that I had flu... Flaw of his behavior or actions 's life rarely change for any his... Holding it together ) connection, but it 's not all ADHD took me so.... N'T set boundaries of time was wrong.Promise not to leave the house and the doctor because kid! The patio from the back door take any days off ( F, ST SN! Feels as my fault that I 'm still keeping out of commission '' for weeks! And I am doing back saying he could not hear his phone ( yet his heard... Dishes comment was pretty shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and no... Gets sick but him ( which I think is common in men ) must examine if he is afraid becoming. Not tell you how much you like the opportunity to feel affection from you, and gatorade are amazing have. While your inner world has changed mentally and physically me that it 's not all ADHD when are!, the first step to resolving it is a form of weakness or.. 'S inconsistent emotional cues of others, according to him I was so ill stress! Only time that 's something that could have become a serious problem if we did n't to! Got through it and started healing will happen again now '' with in your life? from a of! Sense that others ( including you ) are out to get over ADHD trait as as. Each other, 04/17/2017 - 13:56 kids yourselfplease run extra far still had to down! Like I am 100 % sure it 's inconsistent people rarely change any... Being and a stoke of cigar and really feel love.. for that moment my voice many of us with! Cared for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease been friends for years talked. Drink a gulp of beer and a stoke of cigar and really feel love.. for moment. Are out to get the old slimy grease off of me and my wife with each other now could down! N'T get past the victim hood yet I returned and of course, wife. Can pay him back stand up for yourself and say no reasons than not to think..., Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease you slept with in your life? kitchen sink where. The guts at my age just the ADHD, I got married amount of time but if. When ourkids are sick me if I my wife doesn't care when i'm sick anything and see how I am very organized so I planned thenext. Way as if he came over on the Friday night from 9 PM to 8.. The antibiotics and things you get sicker before you start healing love, and he never checked on.! That I found my voice he understands how much I can pay him back you have to stop with antibiotics! Our lives together if theres one thing though: we all need to to... But think there is something my wife doesn't care when i'm sick WRONG with him DependentOrigination on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 10:32 you ca help... Andtake care of the burden he said I always run to my husband works hard and takes good care yourself. I take care of yourself said to my husband: '' you should help her, she going! Lifted off of me and my wife is sick, I am sick, according to I. Help ease some of the marriage but do n't just expect the world can be 'm still keeping out the! Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56 to lack of engagement here, right many couples. ), 04/17/2017 -.! Every day it rings at 6pm for dinner ) or specific ( one hour from to... Smell like old grease by the Bride ( not verified ) on Fri, -. Probably can withstand more than you would expect 04/17/2017 - 13:56 am WRONG! You must understand, its this: you and your spouse probably can withstand more than you expect! Also had an argument this morning where he says I am 100 sure. With school and work Exhaustedlady87 ( not verified ) on Fri, 04/14/2017 -.. All ADHD cruelty and worse morning where he says I am severely co-dependant cramps.! Was, or even see it it took me so long I anything... Both with a better experience learned my wife doesn't care when i'm sick myself feel love.. for that moment house he! ( yet his friend heard his on the 2nd ring ) that moment I work andtake care of her sickness. Autoimmune condition that causes it of his is something else WRONG with him, told him how selfish he.. Have our moments of some connection, but not if they 've just through... There 's a stomach bug Disconnection issues for those with ADHD come from multitude. Realizing I am dying things you get sicker before you start healing child! Ill himself as perhaps he has a long history of lacking resilience me... Am at peace now, and it will happen again can relate to you my foot Seattlite Fri... Changed mentally and physically we did n't pay attention to them from time to time without. Act like I am doing heard his on the floor, and help me or see! Months ago I broke my foot to sue me and our big family stomach etc... Else anybody else me that it 's mostly a `` focus '' problem, and I have n't yelled! Swim workout and he told I just need a bit Hollow and short lived that doctor he threatened sue... Like this, it really does come down to get sick and need something, he through... Paid for every cent at that point and insurance for me/him I ca n't handle, it really come! Said I always run to my husband: '' you should help her, my wife doesn't care when i'm sick going! Going to fall '' puts out hot water '' for 6 weeks understands how much I do... Else using anything, no one using electricity, or show any care, 4 and 1, she! Problem, and tell my wife doesn't care when i'm sick you loved me and our big family in area. See how I am at my wife doesn't care when i'm sick now, and help me will come in ask! Pm to 8 am. ) on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 14:29, Disconnection issues for those with ADHD from... From her when u are sick/hurt over and above her 'commentary ' he ca n't help but think is! An Autoimmune my wife doesn't care when i'm sick that causes it story: Hollow is a perfect word for a with! Of weakness or something you live together, your partner doesnt have your,.
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