Also Read:How to Hold an Infant Properly? Learn more about what health and safety considerations to take when deciding who gets to touch or hold your baby and when; and how to communicate expectations to extended family members, friends, neighbors, and strangers. My husband and I didnt think twice before telling them to come by the hospital whenever they wanted. Smiling grannies and grubby preschoolers alike, they lurch toward your defenseless. Here are 6 common conflicts and solutions, including how you can say "no", how you can avoid alienating your in-laws and how you can be sure to stand up for yourself. But this schedule can work for other relatives and friends who can hold out a little longer until baby has started their vaccination schedule. A post on Mumsnet . But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. Sometimes parents who restricted visitors with a first child are completely fine with visitors for subsequent births, especially since there is an older sibling to be cared for. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. For those that you do let touch your baby, ask that they follow basic health protocols. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Sohere's what you can say: "You're so sweet. It's not your baby. Or you can just say that you want to have time with him as his mommy and wish to be the only person to hold him until you are comfortable. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. The bottom line. Should you have any concerns about your health, or of that of your baby or child, please consult with When introducing your baby to family members, hold these visits outdoors, when possible, and everyone gets to mask up and keep their . "I don't think you're changing his diaper the right way he seems fussy," said while . people who the baby would be exposed to and there's no where to draw Some parents may continue to bar visitors during their first days or even weeks at home. She may need to be changed or fed, or simply needs your comfort after being handled by people she doesnt know. The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. Sometimes maternal grandparents have more access to a new baby than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite. Come over to the Jan/Feb boards and you can see numerous parents of babies who were taken to the ER and admitted to the NICU because they got RSV in their first two months. However, since babies aren't fully vaccinated until after age 1, you'll also want to be extra vigilant to keep your baby from being exposed to germs, says Dr. Hasson. Try rocking or holding your newborn against you, skin on skin. It can be both tempting and scary to let people touch your newborn baby. Flu. We told our "If you need to take your baby to crowded places, such as the grocery store, wearing your baby or using a lightweight stretchy stroller cover can be protective.". Likewise, new parents usually are very enthusiastic about wanting to show off their new little loves. Its fair that you dont want to pass your baby on to someone who you dont know very well, but isnt it lovely that they still want to hold her, despite not knowing you very well either? Should you let them? Mariana Sifrit contracted viral meningitis . We always ask people to wash and sanitize before they hold her. 1. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. They also offer support and. Grandparents are not allowed to spend all their time staring at the baby. I don't mind family holding baby. Follow your instincts but also adhere to the advice of your baby's pediatrician. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don't mind. I offered to let my mom and mil hold him, but I also knew they were. New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. Baby Caring for a newborn baby How to look after a newborn baby in those first few days (0 to 12 weeks). A new baby is most vulnerable during its first six weeks of life. Journal Media does not control and is not responsible for user created content, posts, comments, By Susan Adcox Hip Hold. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and dont mind anyone who complains. If you unload the dishwasher but simply stack everything on the counter because you don't know where things go, that's not helpful. Have a parenting question you want answered? TTC since June 2009 I appreciated the messages of support, but I was hormonal, exhausted, and didnt feel like myself at all. A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. I stopped feeling the overwhelming urge to scream and cry whenever someone else held my daughter. Good nourishment and hydration are important after birth. Police leading the search for a missing two-month-old baby have sought an extension of 36 hours to continue questioning their parents. As an alternative to in-person meet and greets, try a virtual option. Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. But when everyone left, I felt a sense of relief to just be alone with my little family something I hadnt expected I would need. In-laws may not see any reason to callyou are family after all, they think. They often feel pressure to make the most of the time they have with their baby. policy. Were very close with our families, and we wanted them nearby. It was the worst few days of our lives while he was in the NICU and I am terrified of him going back in the hospital. When I got pregnant, MIL made a request to be the first person to hold my son after he's born. Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. Some take time off from work or work from home in order to be there for the mother and newborn. As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. She likes to write research-based articles that are informative and relevant. But months later, looking back on that time in my life, I do still wish that I had held back with the visitors. And it was absolute bliss; everything was quiet, I could pump and nurse wherever I wanted, no one took her out of my arms. I agree to receive relevant emails from BabyCentre and to the use of my health information to make the service more helpful. While new babies are not as fragile as they may seem, you do want to ensure that they are held properly, particularly in the first few months of life. For example, a young woman meets a man from a higher social class. Sitting on the hospital bed watching all these other people hold my daughter, I felt waves of sadness wash over me that I couldnt explain. "I don't think COVID-19 should be adding to their anxiety if they are taking the normal precautions such as masking, physical distancing and hand hygiene. Let us know anonymouslyin our survey hereand well put it to the real-life experts: your fellow mums and dads. My parents and mother-in-law were over almost all day every day, cooking, cleaning, and helping and while it was very much needed, I felt like I hadnt had one second to myself in days. Originally Published: Jan. 16, 2018. aluxum / Getty. For this reason, it's best to limit the number of people who touch or hold your baby. Germs stick to our clothes, so if they were just holding their own children, they may carry those germs on their clothes he says. Weve never been so exhausted or so happy! You can let a sibling or cousin hold the baby, but only while sitting right next to you or from a seated position on the floor to mitigate the risk of accidents. services and My wife won't let me say anything, she wants to write a letter to her brother. Anyone else's baby a climber. Celebrating the birth of your baby with loved ones is a special moment for all new moms. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you'll make some people mad, but they will get over it. Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Don't let people kiss your newborn infant. ! to every nurse who came in the room. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide who gets to touch your newbornand even who gets to be close enough to breath on them. AITA: for not letting my partner's family hold my child? 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. If you are a visiting grandparent, offer to stay in a hotel when you visit. You can obtain a copy of the EDD January 24, 2013 Whether it is in the room, the hospital door, or even your home, make sure to post a list of dos and dont for visitors to follow when visiting your baby. Am I being unreasonable by not letting other people hold my baby? Bringing the mother a drink or snack (or fetching something else she needs) is always appreciated. Since mom herself will be back on her period soon, there's no valid, medically-proven reason that someone's menstrual cycle would cause any harm to a newborn. News images provided by Press Association Keep doing what you are doing and dont feel bad about making excuses. Belly hold. Indoor events with food and touching (let me bring you dinner and let's eat together while I hold your baby) carry a very high risk of transmission if someone is sick. You know how it goes: Grandma has good intentions of loading the dishwasher or changing the sheets. The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. If youre going to be outdoors, care should be taken to protect the newborn from direct sunlight to prevent unintended sunburns, says Dr. Alexander. Parents' most common newborn mistakes involve car seats, sleep and burping Pediatricians offer advice on tummy time and fevers CNN Bringing a new baby home can be nerve-wracking for any. Sure, it was the middle of the summer and not flu season, but people still had germs! Our website is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Otherwise, outdoor visits, weather permitting, are a much safer alternative to indoor . family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. Above all else, be patient with new parents. First-time grandparents sometimes go astray when they come to help because they get caught in the baby's tractor beam. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. When my doctor came by to check in on me and told me she was beautiful, I beamed with a pride I had never felt before. the line, so it seems like it has to be everyone or no one. This really hurt my wife and her mother, especially since her mother doesn't have a car and we had to drive her to/from the hospital/home, which was like a 2 hour roundtrip. The mother may not want visitors when she is not looking or feeling her best, as may be the case after childbirth. Over the next few hours, we were visited by my parents, my mother-in-law, my brother, future sister-in-law, my sister, and her boyfriend. This little squish has kept me from doing a lotttt of things for the last 10 months and especially this summer. In fact, a newborn's immune system isn't considered to have adequate function until 2 months old! Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. And if youre feeling guilty that youre going to cut short a visit, you shouldnt. Get them to sit down on a chair and carefully place your baby in their arms. I panicked, called 911, and ended up back in the hospital. Over the next two days, a few aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins came by. Our Pedi said, to tell people because it isflu and RSV seasonthat we prefer they NOT kiss the baby or touch her hands alot. Seriously; I had to stop myself from shrieking, Look what we made! The practice is soothing and can help prevent babies from startling themselves awake. The moment the nurses placed her on my chest, my entire world changed. Nobody has a right to your baby, and that includes close family. Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. by Susana Kuehne. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. Try stroking your newborn gently when you change a nappy or at bath time. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Your email address will not be published. I come from a large family, I have my own son, this seems purposefully cruel. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. Family-Related topics help because they get caught in the baby & # x27 ; s tractor.. Drink or snack ( or fetching something else she needs ) is always.. Sit down on a chair and carefully place your baby urge to and. The time they have with their baby from shrieking, look what made... Youre going to cut short a visit, you should try to hold an Infant Properly all moms! Prevent babies from startling themselves awake on a chair and carefully place your baby, but,... Everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to Keep in mind time... 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