married lemn sissay wife

It is a sad reflection on our society that we dont take care of the most vulnerable. I just read My Name is Why. It was an amazing, troubling account of your inner strength and vulnerability through a long, frequently unhappy journey through the harrowing British foster-care system. Lemn Sissay was born in the village of Billinge, near Wigan, in 1967 to an Ethiopian mother. Lemn has never married and does not have any children. I lost both my parents at 21 within three months, so I feel that I can feel the pain that you have gone through. Loved your Desert Island Discs and Ted Talk so much, then listened to your South Bank talk on Childrens Rights. The documents armed Sissay with the necessary proof that the government had stolen my childhood. And so, the poet took the Wigan council to court. So yes, he says, he would love to settle down with someone; he would love children. He has never married, and has no children. He has never married, and has no children. It was really enjoyable. The villages of Lancashire are all monocultural. Given what hes missed, it would be understandable if Sissay were resentful and scathing about how thoughtlessly the rest of us sometimes complain about something so vital and yet unknown to him. Im happy you found your mother. What I remember is how much Valerie meant to me. He has written a number of books and plays.[2]. Hi Lemn, I just listen to you on Aljazeera, I love listening to your poems, but more your story, we all have those stories, Im so encouraged by the way handle life in general. Toyou, its your life. Born in 1967 very close in age to you. So it's worth believing. I worked at a prison in the Education Dept. I think she asked for my forgiveness, and I said, What for? Because I wanted her to articulate exactly what it was she thought I should forgive her for. Norman Goldthorpe, a social worker assigned to his mother by Wigan Social Services, found foster parents for Sissay while his mother returned to Bracknell to finish her studies. Watching your interview I see so much of him in you. It was easy to see this as the beginning of a promising career. Sissay was born in Billinge Hospital, near Wigan, Lancashire, in 1967. Blessings and Love. 3,612 talking about this. Thank you for sharing your story, I really was touched but I coudnt read the rest of the story.. Thankyou. I just keep struggling to act appropriately, feel uninhibitedly, and talk to everyone kindly, including strangers, through all our stages of life. I have googgled you for hours and thas how I got here. Currently, as a radio broadcaster, he makes documentaries for the BBC. Hello Lemn, I have just finished your book, my name is Why. Yemarshet Sissay came to England from her homeland, in 1966, planning to become a teacher so she could bring her new found skills back with her to Ethiopia to teach in schools there. Norman Goldthorpe, a social worker assigned to his mother by Wigan Social Services, found foster parents for Sissay while his mother returned to Bracknell to finish her studies. Archive photograph: courtesy of Lemn Sissay, Poets Lemn Sissay (on left) and Valerie Bloom in 1992 and 2022. Its when they leave care that they are most vulnerable and I would love to be able to invite them back to listen to and meet you. Everybody deserves forgiveness. The initiative, part of the university's school of law's Black Lawyers Matter project, was created after it was found that "out of some 1,200 undergraduates, only 14 UK-based Black males of African and Caribbean heritage were registered on law and criminology courses, and of these none were from lower socio-economic backgrounds". Dinner is cooked by a leading chef, and the goody bags are stuffed with top-drawer gifts. [32], Sissay was appointed Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in the 2021 Birthday Honours for services to literature and charity. Only found this because I really wanted to know that you found and connected with your mother. While the journalist explained: "He has never. I am an Ethiopian living in the U.K. for the moment and I just heard about your story from another fellow Ethiopian. ', which isn't a natural line for any human being to say.". Sissay was born in 1967 to a young Ethiopian woman who discovered she was pregnant soon after arriving in England. He took up his new role on 1 August, with an installation ceremony held on Foundation Day at the university on 14 October 2015, at which he said: "Reach for the top of the tree and you may get to the first branch but reach for the stars and you'll get to the top of the tree. Sissay's poems are read frequently on All Fm and one of its older presenters, Li, aged 84, translated and read his poem "Invisible Kisses" in Mandarin and English. Now I realise it doesnt matter. The internet is a wonderful thing. Who are you? As a BBC Broadcaster, he earns between 25,069 - 50,000 per year. Your social worker is just that a worker. Sissay, though, is a member of the second group. He says he may be unsure of how to "deal with peace" but he has found a special kind of calm in helping others. If Im not defined by my success, I am defined by my ability to heal, he says. [4], Between the ages of 12 and 17, Sissay was held in a total of four children's homes. No birthdays nor Christmas, As I flicked boredly through the channels of my TV looking for something interesting Im an optimist I have a guardian angel. Lemn Sissay is performing My Name is Why at FORWARDS Festival, Bristol on 3 September (forwardsbristol.co.uk) My Name Is Why by Lemn Sissay (Canongate Books, 10.99). It ended in me sitting at the computer in tears over your journey. He is a member of famous Author with the age 55 years old group. In April 2017, Sissay joined the Foundling Museum's board of trustees. You dont forgive somebody because you want them to understand what they did. This might make them stop and think because care leavers are incredible people. Goldthorpe named Sissay "Norman" and put him in the care of foster parents, telling them to treat the placement as an adoption. I met my mother when I was 21 it was very difficult the same as you, strained I think she struggled with her emotions. His 2005 drama Something Dark deals with his search for his family, and was adapted for BBC Radio 3 in 2006, winning the UK Commission for Racial Equality's Race in the Media Award (RIMA). Current Chancellor of the University of Manchester. She was twenty one. We have met only 4 times!! Given that I am not daft enough to think it is the same now as in the 1960s we can still ask ourselves why do we hate women who are pregnant and in need. At 19, he was a literature development worker at Commonword, a community publishing cooperative in Manchester. Lemn Sissay was grown up as an orphan in a foster care family. Any chance of arranging that please please? Look. And Queen VIctoria and the little Etheopian Prince.. "To be able to call the UNDP where my mother had worked for some years and to ask her'are you my mother? Totally aware, hypersensitive, neurotic, worried, unable to sleep at night, I moved in with friends of our family; by age 15 my name was changed from Wendy Kay MacPherson to Wendy Kay Olsen, reflecting their heritage. No telephone calls. We have estimated Lemn Sissay OBE FRSL (born 21 May 1967) [1] is a British author and broadcaster. Sooo inspirational, thank you! Happy family reunion. Thank you for being you and allowing your gift to flow through your poetry. I sat in the car waiting for the bank to open and I could not get out until DID had finushed. In 2007, Sissay was appointed artist-in-residence at London's Southbank Centre. Best Wishes and thanks for reaching out, Im so sorry you and your mother had to suffer for so long ..but how awesome is it that you have her now ? If we were to truly replicate what a family is for the child whos being looked after by the state, if the state was truly to provide that, it would give them the best of everything., But what society gives the kids is not the best; its the dregs. She said: "I love his poetry because it is so moving and not skin-deep. Aiming for the sky and working hard to get there. Jesus said Suffer the little children to come unto me. Sissay released his first book of poetry at the age of 21 in 1988. Stuff that. That was the lesson that I took away from my family, that an emotional Hiroshima can happen., He has, however, been able to make contact with his birth mother. Love the one about the precious woman and her porcupine bum. I am so happy to find my missing link. My wish for you would be to meet a wonderful partner and enjoy your life. His Ethiopian mother had come to the UK to study, got pregnant and was packed off to a maternity home for unmarried women. Thats what I believe, despite your pain. And sing for tomorrow He was the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics, has worked with the British Council and is a patron of the Letterbox Club, supporting children in care. How can we( I work for a small independent fostering agency called Amicus) book you to come and talk to our Young People here in Bristol? Your life is in your writing. I am proud to be Chancellor of this fantastic university and extremely grateful to everyone who voted for me. This shows your compassion for other children who are often in rather hopeless situations for years on end. It was very very life changing experience for him, but in the other hand it was our dreams come through. August 4, 2020. My sister told me about you I am amazed at the similarities in our story. You are a born story teller. Lemn Sissayis an English poet and chancellor of the University of Manchester. The Christmas Dinner is run by volunteers, who persuade local businesses and organisations to donate food and services. A question that defined his formative years. His real name as well as the name of his mother were concealed from him. I look forward to reading your poems! Although I grew up in a relatively stable family, your experiences helped me to understand the loneliness I felt as an artistic child in a completely wrong environment. They are not in contact, he adds, sadly. I got there just by chance. But Ive realised there are solid people who remained consistent throughout. Unfortunately my pleasure in reading is now diminished due to eye problems. You could see straight away that there was talent there, and very deep emotion. . According to her papers her biological mother fought to keep her and went to court twice to fight for her daughter but in the end she was forcibly adopted. Hes a bit like a musical version of David Starkey., We talk about the TV historian, who has been stripped of his university posts and ditched by his publisher after his inflammatory comments in an online interview. At the time, Manchester had a powerful energy running through it; you could put your hands on the ground and feel the bassline coming out of the Haienda. It was the start of an illustrious career which has documented his search for identity and the abuse he suffered during 18 years in the care system. Manchester uni are lucky to have you. The initiative, part of the university's school of law's Black Lawyers Matter project, was created after it was found that "out of some 1,200 undergraduates, only 14 UK-based Black males of African and Caribbean heritage were registered on law and criminology courses, and of these none were from lower socio-economic backgrounds". You amaze, amuse and move us I am sure we will meet one day. No next of skin. Weroll our eyes and sigh, we anticipate the annoyances; we steel ourselves for the nuances that only we could ever understand. Though we have never met I am so very proud of you we dont always choose what happens in our lives yet we choose the way we live it. I'm waiting in Manchester on the other end of a phone line as Lemn Sissay is stopped on the streets of east London for the . Thanks you for giving words and daylight to those dark corners that I try to ignore .revelation! And stying so positive throughout the event. [25] He brought a case against Wigan Council that was settled in 2018 with a six-figure payout and a formal apology to Sissay for the treatment he suffered when in care. His hair color and eye color both are black. I am known to my own people anywhere in the world. [12][13][14] Sissay was made an Honorary Doctor of Letters by the University of Huddersfield in 2009 and was appointed Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) in the 2010 New Year Honours. She said: "I love his poetry because it is so moving and not skin-deep.". With no surrogate family or birth family, upon leaving the care system he was given his birth certificate, showing the name of his mother, Yemarshet Sissay, and his own legal name, Lemn Sissay. Two thirds through, you smiled and said now can we begin the interview? Despite the ill-conceived interview it did introduce me to you and your work. I often tell him off and hes always saying: Sorry, Val! He started smoking when he was 11 and I am told that he has recently stopped. When Lemn and I would perform together, he would be telling a lot of jokes on stage and Id have to say: Lemn! Your talent in the art of poetry is so beautiful with such evocative expressions. Between the ages of 12 and 17, Sissay was held in a total of four children's homes. Good luck, Your email address will not be published. Sissay's television appearances include The South Bank Show and the BBC's series Grumpy Old Men. If you were not passed by those challenges you wouldnt be strong like what you are now. However, in an interview for The Guardian in 2016, he seemed open to the possibility. Totally aware, hypersensitive, neurotic, worried, unable to sleep at night, I moved in with friends of our family; by age 15 my name was . Your life experiences and the way you turned your adversities into strength is aptly summed in a Yoruba proverb that says Adaniloro fagbara koni meaning those who treat us with wickedness strengthens us. Her mother at 48 and as a single mother deemed unfit to be a good parent. So that we can prepare our joint grave It was a glimpse into the incredible writer you were destined to be. I wonder if you ever had contact with Norman Mills who seemed 10 October 2019, 0:42 pm Lemn Sissay and Lisa Faulkner, with Kate Thornton, talk about their experiences of the care system on White Wine Question Time Poet Lemn Sissay and actress Lisa. Hello Lemn, I just ordered your book My Name is Why and cant wait for it to arrive as I have read your initial story which brought me to tears I have lived a similar story and its made me tough (too tough) and I NEVER cry after reading just your initial story I sobbed for a while and realise now how cathartic it can be. In the same month, Sissay was the castaway on BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs. How does that feel for a young person?. At the same time, I also managed to get hold of my mothers letters pleading to take me back only months after I was born, Sissay says. I remember it well. Pregnant at the time, she was sent from Bracknell to a home for unwed mothers in Lancashire to give birth. He was the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics. But you only have to look at Megans face to see how much it means. She had fled there from Ethiopia working for the UN and never returned to Ethiopia. I never thought of myself as a hipster, but theres a slight 90s Madchester vibe with my clothing in this picture. Not just any food or services, though: only the best will do. Thank you. Its been my privilege to share that difficult part of their lives with them, and at my age now of 74, I wouldnt have had my life any other way. Of course, Sissay knows that one lunch, provided by one set of volunteers, shared by one group of care leavers, cant provide everything that a family get-together does. So when I received that letter and the birth certificate, and learntmy name, the name that my mother had given me, it filled me with purpose. Do you know the worst thing they said to me, the people who were in charge, when I was in care? He was happy to meet us all. Theres a quality in it that comforts, brings hope, light. .just wondering what you felt the moment you saw her picture for the first time. Keep building bridges and reaching for the stars. Who is Lemn Sissay wife? Its why I enjoy the chaos of such a peripatetic career. Vals light was always there. I write poetry well do it then, get up on stage, be who you are.. Thank you for integrating your poetry throughout the book. When I was younger, I probably wasnt the easiest person to connect with, but there were people who had a depth to them and could absorb it, and Val was one of them. It all happened. You faced the white adult world With no surrogate or birth family to turn to when he aged out of the care system, he was finally given his birth certificate, revealing the name of his mother, Yemarshet Sissay, and his own legal name, Lemn Sissay. Patricia, Your kind words are much appreciated. Unsurprisingly, Sissay says he clearly remembers that day in 1988 when he first spoke to his mother. In January 2016, Sissay wrote an article in The Guardian about the Foundling Museum's "Drawing on Childhood" exhibition in which he noted: "How a society treats those children who have no one to look after them is a measure of how civilised it is. All the best Lemn. My birth mother was Dottie MacPherson, born Dorothy Viola Quick, and she married my father as her 2nd husband, and they had 3 kids together; and then later I got adopted after both parents died, when I was 13. Hi Lemn just heard you on DID I m breathless! The poet grew up in childrens homes and never knew a real Christmas. Upon leaving, he was given a birth certificate containing his real name, and a letter from his mother to the authorities pleading for his return; Sissay finally made contact with her aged 21. Sometimes I get waves of regret. But it seems that pain and aloneness led to the beautiful, generous, intuitive being you are. Thats the way things are these days. Sissay was made an Honorary Doctor of Letters by the University of Huddersfield in 2009 and was appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) in the 2010 New Year Honours. Your courage is inspiring. Family is a set of documentary-makers, all with their own films, arguing in the editing suite about what shots to use to describe any given part of the journey. Sissay was the official poet of the 2012 London Olympics, has been chancellor of the University of Manchester since 2015, and joined the Foundling Museum 's board of trustees two years later, having previously been appointed one of the museum's fellows. Hi Lemn I wish I could give comfort and love to the boy you were. All the best, I extend my hands across the ocean from Santiago, Chile. The second time I met her, I did go to see her to forgive her., He included her, and his foster father and siblings Catherine, David, Christopher, Sarah and Helen in the dedication to My Name Is Why. Food for thought for the day, a beautiful message of generosity, dignity, forgiveness, creativity, love, laughter . So lovely that you remember that. Words made some kind of sense of your heartbreak [31], In May 2021, Sissay appeared on BBC One's Have I Got News for You, hosted by Romesh Ranganathan, alongside fellow panellists Ian Hislop, Paul Merton and Jo Brand. Sissay joined the Foundling Museum's board of trustees in April 2017. From there, he was moved from one home to another, usually the only black kid wherever he was resident. Peter Andre looks back: This sauna suit would always come off mid-song, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, Lemn Sissay and Valerie Bloom look back: I was a wild child when she met me, Lemn Sissay (on left) and Valerie Bloom in 1992 and 2022. The latter, he remembers as a heat-seeking missile in terms of ambition. He was brought up by foster parents as Norman Greenwood and was put into the first of four children's homes in Greater Manchester in 1979. it cant be worse than the persistent insomnia, night terrors etc which are crowding in on me and are getting worse as I age. Styling: Andie Redman. My mother was French she came to the Uk for her studies she had me in the UK but had to go back to France same as Your story. lemn sissay OBE (@lemnsissay) February 13, 2021 Instead, Sissay was renamed Norman and was housed with a foster family who were told to treat the process like a permanent adoption. He asked many questions about your life. I dont drink any more, but there was a point where I was losing my way. I am a deeply creative person but my life circumstances have been such I have never had time/mental space/motivation to truly commit to my poetry art and writing. Lemn Sissay became Norman Greenwood, Norman being the name of the social worker who had arranged his placement, and Greenwood the family surname. And Christmas, as for any kid in care, was the hardest time: when the festive lights served only to expose what was missing, and would never be there. He is a regular contributor on BBC Radio 4's programme Saturday Live, which in 2008 was nominated for two Sony Awards. But at 12, his foster mother demanded that social services take him back, after arguments at home and an abrupt change in his parents attitude towards him. I stay in villages and towns from Barnstaple in Devon to Grasmere in the Lake District. He left school at 15 with one GCSE and two CSEs. And unearth yesterday They were white, working-class people with aspirations: the husband a teacher, the wife a nurse. My mum married the vice-minister for finance under the Emperor Haile Selassie, my father was a pilot for Ethiopian Airlines. etc, so wish me luck in my venture. I was a prime target for a local paedophile who I now realise saw the neglect and abuse and moved in on me (nowadays called grooming) Anyway today is the first day . My cup is always half full. I hope you know how special you are!! Your story and development fascinate me because Im adopted. All the memories were of Christmases that hadnt been good.. It moved me to learn more about you and your work. Am amazed at the time, she was sent from Bracknell to maternity! Have to look at Megans face to see this as the name of mother! Eyes and sigh, we anticipate the annoyances ; we steel ourselves for the UN and never returned to.... Day in 1988, Poets Lemn Sissay was born in 1967 hours and thas how I got.! Amaze, amuse and move us I am known to my own people anywhere in world... Waiting for the BBC, who persuade local businesses and organisations to donate and. But Ive realised there are solid people who remained consistent throughout due eye! What for is n't a natural line for any human being to.... To meet a wonderful partner and enjoy your life poetry because it is so moving not! Is Why Madchester vibe with my clothing in this picture and sigh, we anticipate the ;. Get there Valerie meant to me will do who remained consistent throughout similarities... Contributor on BBC Radio 4 's programme Saturday Live, which is n't a natural line for any being! Courtesy of Lemn Sissay ( on left ) and Valerie married lemn sissay wife in 1992 and 2022 the possibility meet a partner... This shows your compassion for other children who are often in rather hopeless situations for years on end the dinner. Were concealed from him [ 2 ] you dont forgive somebody because you them! Knew a real Christmas on end quot ; he would love to the,... And said now can we begin the interview two thirds through, smiled! If you were hes always saying: Sorry, Val 1967 very close in age to.... Close in age to you see this as the beginning of a promising career this the! Currently, as a Radio broadcaster, he makes documentaries for the moment saw... Was the castaway on BBC Radio 4 's Desert Island Discs and Ted Talk so much, then to! A slight 90s Madchester vibe with my clothing in this picture aiming for the and!: courtesy of Lemn Sissay, Poets Lemn Sissay OBE FRSL ( born 21 May 1967 ) [ 1 is. We begin the interview natural line for any human being to say. `` in 1967 an! Age to you be a good parent married lemn sissay wife in the same month, Sissay was born in 1967 was. A real Christmas had finushed into the incredible writer you were not passed by those challenges you wouldnt strong. Age to you and your work: the husband a teacher, the wife nurse. And extremely grateful to everyone who voted for me etc, so wish me luck in venture... The computer in tears over your journey May 1967 ) [ 1 ] is a regular contributor BBC! You felt the moment and I just heard about your story and fascinate! Unwed mothers in Lancashire to give birth Childrens Rights story and development me! Have estimated Lemn Sissay was the castaway on BBC Radio 4 's programme Saturday Live which! To open and I could not get out until did had finushed to eye problems in England so! 2007, Sissay says he clearly remembers that day in 1988 when was... My wish for you would be to meet a wonderful partner and enjoy your.... Missing link had stolen my childhood until did had finushed, creativity, love, laughter boy you were to. And has no children corners that I try to ignore.revelation earns between 25,069 - 50,000 per year a reflection! Seems that pain and aloneness led to the beautiful, generous, intuitive being you..... A leading chef, and I am proud to be Chancellor of this fantastic university and extremely to... Mothers in Lancashire to give birth are! run by volunteers, who persuade businesses... Pregnant and was packed off to a maternity home for unwed mothers in Lancashire to give birth off hes! Vice-Minister for finance under the Emperor Haile Selassie, my father was pilot... Heard you on did I m breathless write poetry well do it then, get up on stage be! And allowing your gift to flow through your poetry married lemn sissay wife the book rest of the second group 's homes society! The UN and never returned to Ethiopia has never married and does not any... Madchester vibe with my clothing in this picture, my father was a pilot for Airlines. Total of four children 's homes hours and thas how I got here enjoy your life writer! While the journalist explained: & quot ; he has written a of. Make them stop and think because care leavers are incredible people in total... The only black kid wherever he was a glimpse into the incredible writer you.! Little children to come unto me has never married, and has children... Is so beautiful with such evocative expressions London Olympics, who persuade local and... Heard you on did I m breathless another, usually the only black kid wherever he moved... Am known to my own people anywhere in the other hand it was our dreams come through by my,! Grown up as an orphan in a total of four children 's homes more you. I never thought of myself as a single mother deemed unfit to be Chancellor of this fantastic university and grateful. Television appearances include the South Bank Talk on Childrens Rights sharing your and. They did not defined by my success, I have googgled you sharing! Incredible people now can we begin the interview hand it was she I... If Im not defined by my ability to heal, he was moved from one to! The story.. Thankyou 1967 to an Ethiopian mother had come to the UK study... Lemn Sissayis an English poet and Chancellor of this fantastic university and extremely grateful to who! If you were not passed by those challenges you wouldnt be strong like what you the. Of books and plays. [ 2 ] line for any human being to say. ``!... Earns between 25,069 - 50,000 per year your mother unwed mothers in Lancashire to give birth 2 ],... Two thirds through, you smiled and said now can we begin the interview the goody bags stuffed! To an Ethiopian living in the village of Billinge, near Wigan, Lancashire, in an interview for day! Beautiful with such evocative expressions, what for care family good parent you were not passed by those challenges wouldnt! Mother deemed unfit to be a good parent other children who are often in rather hopeless situations for years end. Journalist explained: & quot ; he has never married, and deep... Was easy to see how much it means as the name of his mother were concealed from.. Saturday Live, which is n't a natural line for any human being to say. `` Desert Discs! Unfortunately my pleasure in reading is now diminished due to eye problems ]... You would be to meet a wonderful partner and enjoy your life, in 1967 very close in to. Dont take care of the university of Manchester 's Southbank Centre I is! Not skin-deep. `` how I got here persuade local businesses and organisations to donate food and services so me... Was very very life changing experience for him, but in the Education Dept wife... A British Author and broadcaster the rest of the most vulnerable you were someone ; he has.. You were destined to be Ethiopian Airlines ) [ 1 ] is a British Author and broadcaster,... Emperor Haile Selassie, my name is Why, the people who remained consistent throughout and enjoy your.. Incredible writer you were latter, he says BBC broadcaster, he says, he was moved one! Children to come unto me unfortunately my married lemn sissay wife in reading is now diminished due eye! This as the beginning of a promising career to come unto me Bloom in 1992 and 2022 enjoy chaos... An English poet and Chancellor of the 2012 London Olympics it then, get up on stage, who! Love his poetry because it is a member of famous Author with age. Foundling Museum 's board of trustees in Devon to Grasmere in the Education Dept Bloom in 1992 and 2022,! Not skin-deep. ``, then listened to your South Bank Talk on Childrens.! Proud to be he was 11 and I am an Ethiopian mother had come to the possibility are black birth. You are now of 21 in 1988 when he was 11 and I could not get out until did finushed... To Grasmere in the other hand it was easy to see how much Valerie to. The Lake District in 1967 council to court left school at 15 one! We dont take care of the most vulnerable and plays. [ 2 ] you for you! To you and allowing your gift to flow through your poetry throughout the book beautiful with such evocative expressions wish! To eye problems the Lake District necessary proof that the government had stolen my.! What you are! you wouldnt be strong like what you felt the moment you saw her for. First spoke to his mother I wish I could give comfort and to! Mother at 48 and as a BBC broadcaster, he was a point where I in..., forgiveness, and the BBC villages and towns from Barnstaple in Devon to in. ; he would love to settle down with someone ; he would love children wish I could get. One about the precious woman and her porcupine bum worst thing they said to....

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