Surely we would take off the Wednesday mornings when she had to be at the hospital at seven oclock. Sooki, I found out, was sixty-four. I tried to find a place for this new fact in the equation but all I could come up with was the obviousI didnt know her. We hadnt paid the check. Patchett is so 100 percent a writer that you get the feeling that her life doesnt happen unless she writes about it. She lit up with all that breath. . I wasnt sure why I was negotiating my characters future with my friend, but there I was, listening. But they had survived. To introduce Karl into this narrative as a general internist (he calls himself a pediatrician for adults) would be reductive. Sometimes I had to get right in front of her to hear what she was saying. He was watching the weather. This article was originally published inThe SpectatorsUK magazine. And you will be surprised by how comforting it is to be very sick with an actual doctor upstairs. Ann. We repeated these facts, we made them a mantra. He holds a kind of medical currency, saved then spent, and when needed, he can marshal all necessary parties into immediate action, bringing them together so fast that whatever needs to happen can happen yesterday. is the author, most recently, of The Dutch House. I can write an entire novel without showing a page of it to anyone. I find a stream and follow it, the stream dries up, and Im left to look for moss on the sides of trees. KELLY: (Laughter). You might not see how everything threads together as you read along, but when you look back from the end of the story, the map becomes clear. It turned out to be more or less the truth. I had cut a small bouquet of Lenten roses and put them on the night table. My husband, Karl, and I sat in a dressing room with them for an hour and a half between sets. 2,560 Followers, 85 Following, 25 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Sooki Raphael (@sookiraphaelartist) And there I was, going nowhere. They had turned off the heat PATCHETT: Or they turned it down to whatever level would keep the pipes from freezing. I no longer needed the protection. In time, all I would have to say was, Its Friday. When I look back on those first few months of the pandemic, all I will remember is recurrent pancreatic cancer. I had thought this was a story about Tom Hanks, the friendly actor-writer who had recorded my book, but I was mistaken. There is a bright therapist named Hassan at my assigned machine, always the same, with a sweet attitude. After dinner that night, Sooki and I sat on the couch and tried to watch a movie, but her phone on its leash began to ding and ding and ding, insisting on her attention. I felt their love for me. Two days later, I sent an endorsement to the editor. In the twenty-six years that Karl and I had been together, Id never had the experience of coming home to dinner being made. Lucy said she didnt have time for this. Sooki worried about her mother, who had been admitted to a hospital near Rye Brook for a urinary tract infection. Get help here. I knew I should sit with her at the table but I couldnt imagine it. We would meet on the level playing field of affectionate strangers. While I was in Virginia, a series of tornadoes hit Nashville. Having lost his mom to breast cancer in 2018, he knew he wanted to be extra careful during the pandemic. Have a wonderful day today. Sooki exuded such an air of self-sufficiency that I scarcely thought to worry about her. We call it the VanDevender Home for Wayward Girls. Theres a grain of truth in, Short term rentals have become a source of income for some property owners in the Santa Monica Mountains and a source of aggravation for others,, Theres a special place just a few miles up the coast, where whales, dolphins, and sea lions swim close to shore, where you can watch. Then as the world was ensnared by a global pandemic, the two friends formed a pandemic pod. In a piece for Harpers Magazine called These Precious Days, Patchett told the story of their friendship and spoke of her admiration for the paintings Raphael created at her home. I have to know where Im going, otherwise I spend my days walking in circles. They were dead, the wires, werent they? We at Harper's Magazine are deeply saddened by the loss of our former contributing editor Barry Lopez (1945-2020), who died on Christmas Day.Over the course of four decades, Barry wrote more than a dozen works of criticism, reportage, and memoir for the magazine, all of them informed by the combination of wonder and moral urgency that made him one of America's most beloved . There was work to do. And also, she was very low on white blood cells. I made a documentary about my father. The ones who stayed turned out to be the ones I was interested in. What Sooki gave me was a sense of order, a sense of God, the God of Sister Nena, the God of my childhood, a belief that I had gone into my study one night and picked up the right book from the hundred books that were there because I was meant to. We said our goodbyes and Adrian and I walked downtown to see what had happened. I worked at the Bronx Zoo during school and then I did the whole bat thing. Was it like they said it would be, life-changing? She was Batgirl. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. Or its supposed to slow it down. She hadnt lost her hair on FOLFIRINOX, though shed lost her sense of taste and smell, the feeling in her feet and hands, and twenty pounds. It made her crazy not to be there to help. My mother raised me to be very religious, very God-conscious. A year and a half had passed since I had picked up his book in my office, and this was where it had taken me: Tom Hanks was willing to read The Dutch House. Creating art, among other things, can be a cathartic process for people undergoing cancer treatments. And this led to you meeting Sooki. She was there and then she was gone and we wouldnt see her again until the next morning. She had set up her life in the basement of our house, a place we never went. I should have thought of that one myself. She had once shown me a picture of herself standing in the surf wearing a bikini, a sarong tied around her narrow hips. It had been more than two years since I met Sooki in a theater in Washington. Direct flights to Los Angeles had been suspended, and even if shed wanted to fly to Dallas to wait and see whether the connecting flight would be canceled (because thats what happened now), her weekly blood draws underscored the fact that she scarcely had enough white cells to qualify for chemo, much less protect her from a pandemic while on a commercial flight. She kept to herself, sleeping and painting, trying to wrestle it out. PGVs (pathogenic germline variants) are changes in reproductive cells (sperm or egg) that become part of the DNA in the cells of the offspring. Ill get there but its no small task to try and sum this up.). I wrote and she painted and then we made dinner. But once we had finished that first short practice, she turned to me, blooming. She had wanted her life to be different, and now it was. Then came the moment one feels on a roller coaster just as the bar locks into place and the car starts to pull up, the body pressing back into the seat, knees out ahead, and you think, Wait a minute, was this the best. Were they awake and choosing not to come to the basement? She wanted to know what constituted being a good houseguest during a tornado. There was a bottle of water, a blue glass by the sink. Afterward we sat up at the hotel and talked about this new coronavirus and whether the rest of her tour would be canceled. I was leaving for Virginia. Here she was the person she had meant to be. I felt the car pulling up and up, just about to tip over the cresting track. But in her post, Wilson referred to her as the one thing she was destined to be: an artist. Finally she went downstairs. FOLFIRINOX had also given her a profound aversion to cold. If it hadnt been for the cancer, I never would have come here. Three time cancer survivor, MariannaCuozzo, talks to SurvivorNet about how art helps her express herself. Everything was lit up bright, the table set. Spanish for straight, direct. It wasnt that I could kill someone; it was that I could kill her. Tom and Rita were in Australia, where he was about to start shooting a movie about Elvis Presley. She was supposed to wear a complicated Velcro gel pack (unfortunately called a penguin cap) on her head on the days she had chemo. And this led to you meeting Sooki. Like most of her paintings, the artwork from the exhibition is full of color only a soul eager to see the beauty in every day could translate onto canvas. Maybe it had something to do with her job. In Patchett's wildest dreams, she likely never saw a friendship blossoming later in life that would lead her to become a safe haven for a woman fighting against cancer. A few more pages would send me off to sleep, so I went in search of a short story. We put on the music, the eye masks, covered up. Tom Hanks needs a favor? Overview; Filmography; Filmography. I must have dropped it. She's allowed to live in the world, and not be one thing. Welcome to the last book event on earth, I said when I walked onstage. A friend who was well versed in the experience brought them over early in the morning on Memorial Day. Click here to dismiss this module permanently. It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hankss assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the basement of the novelist Ann Patchett and her husband Dr Karl VanDevender. Ive got to take care of my nun, I told him. She learned to solo an airplane before she learned to drive. No events scheduled for January 20, 2023. A month later, I still hadnt seen all the clothes she had brought with her, and I never saw the cold caps. Probably it was some combination of the two. By showing her what her life might have looked like and then sending her home. By seeing what I wanted to see instead of what was actually in front of me. We hope you enjoy reading another article this month! (These Precious Dayshas a portrait by her of Patchetts dog Sparky on the cover). Hell make sure you get everything you need. There was only color and the color was keeping time with the music, color breaking apart into tiles the size of Chiclets, the color of Chiclets, from which cathedrals rose in the sacred spirit of the Johns Hopkins playlist. Outside the rain was dark and lashing. Then one day she told me she was starting to shed. Its supposed to keep your hair from falling out, she said. KELLY: Well, let's dive in and talk about this one, which, as I said, is nonfiction. Kate DiCamillo is coming later on Wednesday. We have come to the point in this story when time changes. You know that you dont talk about yourself, right? We were living together. It seemed we had just driven through the U.S. epicenter of the coronavirus. KELLY: Wow. Had we not talked about the part where he stuck around to oversee our health and safety? The trick was coming up with the nerve to confess our plans to Karl. Karl found a giant bright-blue tarp in the garage and Sooki spread it over the floor and table downstairs, setting herself up to paint. PATCHETT: So I first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was interviewing Tom for his collection of short stories. She told me that she had to put Sooki on a leash when she was little because she ran so much. I can motivate myself without a deadline or a contract. Register, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilsons Friend and Assistant Dies from Pancreatic Cancer; See Their Heartfelt Tribute to the Artist, Julia Louis-Dreyfus Teases Her Upcoming Movie With A Star-Studded Cast, Actress & Fitness Guru Jane Fonda, 85, Says 'Chemo Hit Me Hard'-- Fighting Lymphoma Years After Breast Cancer, Rock Band Kiss Co-Founder Peter Criss, 77, Male Breast Cancer Survivor, Releases New Version Of Classic 'Dirty Livin'', You Can Now Buy Top Gun Star's Val Kilmer's Personally Crafted Scrapbooks For Sale, His 'Most Private And Intimate Work To Date', For Healthy Skin Month, Take Advice From Ariana Madix, a Melanoma Survivor, and Speak Up About Concerns, Transthyretin Amyloid Cardiomyopathy (ATTR-CM), Entranced by her velvet coat and kind demeanor, In a recent post made to her official Instagram. With many creative endeavors - from clothing to ceramics to a long career in the film industry Raphael has contributed to numerous projects, busily attending to the arts . Primarily and in her soul she was an artist.. Where were you born? From her patio, she could watch the planes take off and land. The chemical tide that rose in Sookis blood had not only caused her hair to fall out; it caused that hair to mat into a solid surface. Sooki Raphael is Tom Hank's assistant and friend. RoseGallery is pleased to present These Precious Days, a solo exhibition of paintings by Sooki Raphael, on view from 10 April until 10 May, 2021. We are Southern, and it is like this here, always. I didnt need to hear about the first opinion to know what that meant. She looked like a tiny rock star in her shaggy pale-pink coat and sunglasses and high boots. Im sure these words cant adequately convey what was such a radiant message, but it stayed with me so strongly as I woke up during the night, and thats the best I can describe it. Its undeniable that money and privilege are a great help. And I shared that with her when we spoke about her essay collection "These Precious Moments" (ph) last November. Sooki was the kind of person who could do anything, and did just about everything. Happy to help. may 21, 2019: Thank you for your concern about my medical procedure. At what point does our understanding of the action shift? Pancreatic cancer is an aggressive disease that is difficult to detect because symptoms - including jaundice and weight loss - typically present at a later stage in the cancer's development. Were just reading. Sooki washed her sheets and towels, cleaned the bathroom, vacuumed. She ran marathons and regularly won the Fastest Woman in Topanga title at the local Tough Topanga 10k. Her Sookis cookies recipe was famous among not just anyone who knew her, but anyone who knew someone who knew her. Forget about the heartfelt letters. Karl had started flying in Mississippi when he was ten. Sooki came to Nashville and stayed in one place, no more movie stars, no more trips to Morocco and Tan-Tan. A car was coming to pick them up. No doubt if Tom Hanks and Ann Patchett believe their friend to possess such wonderful qualities, she probably is a saint. They take magic mushrooms together (a good experience for Sooki, dreadful for Ann). Patchett is part-owner of a bookstore (Parnassus), has a three-story house and a husband whos a longtime physician at the First Clinic in Nashville. Assistant Sully (2016) Assistant Bridge of Spies (2015) . Im afraid if I leave Ill never see you again, she said in a voice I could barely hear. Her paintings are full of light and life, as Sooki was., And despite not having any formal artistic training, Raphael did very well. When she gave us the painting she had done of Sparky on the back of the couch, I felt as if Matisse had painted our dog.. I would tell you we were idiots, but thats true only in retrospect. He was selected by the Tennessee Titansas the number 22 overall pick in the first round of the 2021 NFL draft. Sooki let my friends with the plane know that she would be there on Thursday. She had made up her mind that it was going to be okay. I came and watched from the open door. But of course the thing to do would be to go, wouldnt it? Could I meet him at the bookstore, Parnassus, in half an hour? Sparky had crawled onto my chest and gone to sleep. The fact that the two of you want me here, that you love me, that you believe in meit makes me believe in myself. When undergoing treatment for cancer, looking inward for inspiration can be a very cathartic journey that helps with recovery. We could all be boring together.. She wasnt just her illness. I know that after my last round of chemo I would sometimes get up and eat in the middle of the night, or get up early and make noisy smoothies. I had never found a way of asking what having cancer had been like for her, or what it meant to so vigorously refuse the hand you were dealt. Did you have a hard time?. She didnt know. I couldnt stay upright, a hangover from the last eight hours in which I had been quite memorably deboned. A post shared by Rita Wilson (@ritawilson), [Sooki] was so many things, Wilson wrote. I hear you, and I know that if I were in your shoes and you were asking me to stay with you it would seem impossible. He would bring a copilot to split up the hours. But I didnt forget. Shed called me from outside the airport. Dionne Warwick came in with her son. Arent we talking about doing this together?, Oh, I said. We both agreed that if this was the brink of extinction, it was nice to be together. She had been in the house for only a few minutes; there hadnt been enough time to lose anything. I need to go home, she would say, like home was another place she could walk to. One night after wed finished our yoga and meditation, we were lying on our mats, staring up at the ceiling. I cant just stay here forever.. Everything was lined upexcept Sooki didnt want to go. All day long Sooki emailed me pictures of her family with the subject line Where is our other sister? Coping after the loss of a loved one to cancer is never going to be an easy journey. Im still hereat Playtone and in general. Maybe its all the chemicals I have in me already. The price of living with a writer was that eventually she would write about you. I was going only for the night. Id be grateful if youd pray for her, I said, because while I was uncertain about prayer in general, I believed unequivocally in the power of Sister Nenas prayers. By the time the playlist had reached Tristan and Isolde, my skull was a horses skull, dry and white and empty. She was twenty-one. In this collection are memoir pieces about her three fathers, one biological, two step which somehow makes you think of Goldilocks and the three bears; about a year of no shopping; about knitting; about sisters; about being nineteen in Paris; and about growing up Catholic in Nashville. I was sorry for what Id done to him, by which I meant poisoning myself. We knew it. She looked startled. Sooki and I kept up a sporadic email exchange once the audiobook was done. An epilogue describes how before Sookis death they manage a day on the beach and a celebratory exhibition of her paintings. Its funny, but all this time I was sure it was exactly that. He describes her as "someone who is all that is good in the world.". PATCHETT: Every single thing was from scratch. Of course we would exercise together; it was good for both of us. I will keep you more closely posted as I move ahead (in the right color shoes). This was what I knew about Sooki: She lived in Los Angeles. And then one night, for reasons I cannot imagine, we decided to do it all again before we went to sleep. Karl and Sooki came in the back door together in the middle of a conversation. How is it possible? I said as I complimented her again and again. I just would worry too much about being a bad friend. Im good. She liked herself again. My breath was roaring now, in and out, my lungs enormous bellows that would not tolerate my death. She was disappointed. I thought some nights my back would snap. She made wedding cakes that tasted as good as they looked. I wanted Karls comfort and was glad he wasnt there. Raphael passed peacefully on April 25. The paintings came from a landscape of dreams, pattern on pattern, impossible colors leaning into one another. I cant tell you how appreciative I am. Or maybe I should say I was coming to know her without knowing very much about her. I couldnt. Are you serious? There is another guest suite on the main floor and we live on the top floor. My husband, Ken, will come down for at least part of the time, once Ive started chemo, and I may have other visitors, so I think I will explore some other options in the area, but I cant tell you how touched I am that youve extended the offer. Their close friendship began through email, and would eventually lead to Patchett offering her home to Raphael in early 2020 so she could receive cancer treatment in Nashville. I was told that although not everyone wanted to commit to having the tattoos, it was the most accurate way to align the radiation field that had been so meticulously laid out by a team of physicists working alongside my radiation oncologist. We were sitting in the den at 7:30 am. The press release is about to go out. I sat there and watched her read, waiting for something more, something that explained it. Her California and Tennessee oncologists had conferred so that she could transfer from one hospital to the other without missing a treatment. Just you and Karl?, I thought about it for a minute, shook my head. Rita Wilson recently posted a tribute to her friend, Sooki Raphael, who painted throughout her treatment for pancreatic cancer. PATCHETT: I really, really appreciate that. It was so much more beautiful, the overlaying color of every petal, the very light pink against the blackness. I wanted to go to bed and read. 30, 2019: I imagine your kindness comes from you being kind. Sooki Raphael leaves her canvas as colorful as she has led her life. She gave us a giant furry blanket that I loved. A similar medical trial would begin months earlier in Nashville. I made it a point not to tell Karl sad medical stories at the end of his long days of sad medical stories. Sooki and I shined our flashlights on the smooth bark of the trees that lay across the streets. This wasnt out of the ordinary for me, as Im sure it wasnt for her. On Thursday morning I started to cry while walking Sparky. Sooki got a stool and a towel and went to sit on the back deck. SANTA MONICA, CA.-. I just cant stand the thought of being so disruptive to your and Karls (and Sparkys!) But the doctors say, as they expected, the cancer is back, and they are ready to start up chemo again. It doesn't say, go get a sack of Pepperidge Farm. Can you imagine Tom sitting at home saying, I cant believe Sooki used my connections to get into a clinical trial in Nashville?, No, of course not, Im just telling you. She wrote her thesis on bats and rabies. What Sooki is, Tom wrote to me in an email later, is all that is good in the world.. There was no hesitation on the canvases, no timidity. 68 books15.8k followers Patchett was born in Los Angeles, California. I had a concrete reason to be careful about the germs I was bringing into the house. When we got home from our walk, I emailed Sooki and said that if she wanted Karl to check on the possibility of a trial in Nashville she should send her medical records. The bottom floor of the house is an apartment, separate entrance, no kitchen. Sooki went with him every day. Are you sick?. lives. I went by myself. I didnt see how it could hurt to ask. Ive never seen a storm come up so fast. He leaned forward over the porch stairs. She sent updateschapter eight now, chapter twelve. Im sorry to bother you, Sooki said, looking around. Solo exhibition of paintings by Sooki Raphael on view at ROSEGALLERY. is an American film and television production company established in 1998 by actor Tom Hanks and . But you write that what you loved was finding someone who sees you as your best and most complete self and that she did that for you, and you think you did that for her. And that was that. You yourself are heartfelt, and all the love in the world has been expressed. They were lucky and the fire skated past. We had been together for the duration of this new world. I worried about her dying. Accuracy and availability may vary. 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